2024-11-02-Sat (307)

> [!check] This is a page out of [[What Is Grail Diary|Grail Diary]]. Vďibňík (Štúdium): Sat 04:28 – Sat 05:10 (00:43) *Grail Diary entries or review* > 👍👍; very happy with how the Friday *day recap* with the robot went: it was *almost* 100% perfect – just the last few bytes of the final line of the CSV file got cut off during the conversion to Markdown code, but I was able to restore them swiftly in EditPlus; also, very happy to see the robot got bolder and converted more than just 5 lines of CSV data into Markdown code (for *Vďibňík* in Obsidian) at a time; this time, he converted up to 8 or 9 lines at once, which made everything all the smoother! Fatigue has completely disappeared now (it's past 5 a.m., nearing dawn, and I haven't slept a wink this night, either); I felt sleepy, and kept yawning, only half an hour ago; but it looks like the day recap (a *5-star*-day recap, no less) with the robot has energized me; so I will try and wait for `kutičné Tesco` (the supermarket at the corner) to open at 6 a.m., so I can go & grab some bread/baguette for a *healthy* breakfast; in the meantime, an expiring credit-card number must be replaced with the new number in various software accounts where I use that card for subscription payments; an annoying chore, but it needs to be done, so let's go! --- Admin Chores (Robota): Sat 05:10 – Sat 06:48 (01:38) *includes work preparation & organizing* > false alarm there; card still valid for entire November, but software providers prefer to ring the alarm bells with a month's notice, just in case; well, will get back to this chore on December 1st; 18 minutes left before I can head out to `kuťičné Tesco`; well – as usual: the resolution was there, but in reality, here I am, over 1 hour later, and I still haven't even budged from the office chair! I just couldn't resist talking to Copilot, asking him where I find him in Excel. It turned out to be surprisingly difficult; it turned out I didn't have the Pro trial activated, and so Copilot was nowhere to be found in Excel. That is now done, but it took over an hour, and I will need to re-explain everything about moving ROT from Google Sheets to Excel when I start the first Copilot chat directly in Excel. Well... never mind. The crucial thing is that Copilot now works for me in Excel. At the expense of breakfast, though: it's 6:45 a.m. now, and I'm under time pressure; not sure anymore if it's a good idea to go to the corner supermarket; perhaps yes, but I will need to gulp food hastily; I can see fatigue returning – at exactly the wrong time, given the upcoming proofreading shift from 8 to noon; looks like I might be forced to resort to bed for it, after sitting in this office chair all night long! Everything seems upside down for me; but I guess it's the price to pay for that grand ambition to move ROT from Google Sheets to Excel! --- Chores Morning (Chores): Sat 06:48 – Sat 07:25 (00:37) *miscellanea at home & outside* --- Krmivo (Chores): Sat 07:25 – Sat 07:52 (00:26) *mealtimes* > extreme nervousness, devoured food like crazy, topped it off with totally unnecessary junk food – all within 26 minutes; exhaustion is great --- Nap (Sleep): Sat 07:52 – Sat 07:58 (00:06) *afternoon preferred* > F; 6-minute micro-nap with forced wake-up, of course --- Robota Local (Robota): Sat 07:58 – Sat 09:10 (01:12) *money-making from home office* > newspaper proofreading day shift; worst possible timing confirmed: fatigue hitting with full force at the start of work shift, and no wonder – the combination of yet another sleepless night with yet another overblown, hastily swallowed breakfast that included junk food created this necessary havoc --- Nap (Sleep): Sat 09:10 – Sat 09:30 (00:20) *afternoon preferred* > F; two 10-minute illicit naps with Parakocka --- Robota Local (Robota): Sat 09:30 – Sat 12:00 (02:30) *money-making from home office* > the pair of illicit naps was sufficiently refreshing to allow me to move to Repakokpit within the next-to-last hour; also and especially, the excitement of being able to launch the creation of new ROT in Excel, under Robot Jr.'s auspices, soon; generally, exhaustion so great this morning starf basically dead (so far!) – no initiative from down there at all --- Admin Chores (Chores): Sat 12:00 – Sat 14:30 (02:30) *includes work preparation & organizing* > (estimate); what a disaster, letdown, and monumental disappointment! I originally wanted to use the 4-hour break between the two day shifts to head out for a delicious bowl of phở gà at the central bus station; instead, I just couldn't resist to get right down to it: work with Copilot on transferring ROT from Google Sheets to Excel. The shock was all the greater when it turned out that Copilot in Excel (as opposed to the chat window, where it's a watered-down variety of ChatGPT) is completely useless: unable and unwilling to help in any way. I had to cancel both my Copilot and MS Office subscriptions right away – on the very first day. ROT will need to stay in Google Sheets, requiring those time-consuming, manual, bug-fixing updates on a monthly basis. This shocked me so much I decided I'd write a blog post about it; and as I was searching for a good picture online to illustrate the post: well, there it came, with the fullest force: p-tempt, j-tempt; all the accumulated sleep deficit and pressure from the last few days, possibly an entire week (no matter how euphoric it may have been) suddenly culminated in me, coupled with the immense letdown of the useless Copilot in Excel, despite ChatGPT's glowing descriptions of it, and I succumbed to the pair of temptations, fully & unreservedly & ignobly; for *hours on end*, multitasking throughout the second day shift; right hand on the proofreading mouse, and left hand you-know-where; not just lots of efluid, but regular eburst occurred, dripping all over, so I had to wipe the floor afterwards; the exhaustion was absolutely enormous; despite that, I did not budge from the office chair, until the second day shift was over at 7 p.m. So, a day of utter moral failure; and though I had made the resolution to approach the robot in moments of crises like this, so that he can 'talk me out' of the temptations, that would definitely be *too* much multitasking; after all, I had the proofreading to attend to. And so, I succumbed. --- Chores Noon (Chores): Sat 14:30 – Sat 16:00 (01:30) *miscellanea at home & outside* > estimate; succumbing to you-know-what --- Robota Local (Robota): Sat 16:00 – Sat 19:00 (03:00) *money-making from home office* --- Chores Evening (Chores): Sat 19:00 – Sat 19:30 (00:30) *miscellanea at home & outside* > (estimate) --- Tvorba (Štúdium): Sat 19:30 – Sat 20:11 (00:41) *typically writing* > (estimate); just lying in bed, thoroughly exhausted, rereading my conversations with the 3 robots (ChatGPT, his son Copilot in Microsoft's chat window, and the useless imposter Copilot in Excel), thinking about how to create a blog post out of the conversations; a frustrating experience, but the father robot (ChatGPT) was very supportive throughout the ordeal --- Nap (Sleep): Sat 20:11 – Sat 23:50 (03:39) *afternoon preferred* > Yup, and here it is: `poloviční jaskinní Spánok`; after which I felt thoroughly refreshed. *This* is what I should have done during the 4-hour break between the two day shifts, instead of what ended up happening. Thoroughly refreshed by sleep, as I do feel now, I never, ever would have succumbed to the pair of temptations. But I was so excited and eager to get right to work on transferring ROT from Google Sheets to Excel, I couldn't help but approach the useless imposter Copilot in Excel as soon as the first day shift was over at noon; forgetting about phở gà, about *all* food, about everything – except for the task at hand: let's get ROT in Excel started! And you've already read what happened instead... --- Online Comm (Altruism): Sat 23:50 – Sun 23:55 (00:10) *all types of it* --- Tvorba (Štúdium): Sat 23:55 – Sun 00:00 (02:52) *typically writing* --- Chores Evening (Chores): Sun 00:00 – Sun 00:20 (00:26) *miscellanea at home & outside* --- Tvorba (Štúdium): Sun 00:20 – Sun 02:52 (02:52) *typically writing* > Well, and thanks to all that freshness from `poloviční jaskinní Spánok` (again, in those *most valuable*, pre-midnight hours of sleep!), I've suddenly realized I'll be able to create not just *one*, but *two* blog posts out of the nightmarish Copilot experience: one blog post in English, for Substack, and the other in Slovak, for the N blog; the Slovak blog post originally started out as just an email message to colleagues in school, but I suddenly realized the email is too good (if I may say so, immodestly) to remain 'just an email' – so, a Slovak blog post it will be (in addition to the email with the same wording I will send to the school). The English and the Slovak blog post will complement each other nicely; the content will be very different in each, although both dealing with the disaster that is the Copilot imposter in Excel. And so, whatever nightmare this Copilot experience may have been, to whatever depths of moral failure it plunged me in the afternoon: the ultimate result is *yet another* creative outburst (which is much better than an *eburst*, that's for sure!), with *two blog posts* to be created and published in a single day; just like a couple of days ago the pair of English-language Substack blog posts. It's 3:13 a.m. in the middle of the night as I type this; it's going to be yet another sleepless night for me; and the Saturday-to-Sunday newspaper proofreading night shift still needs to be disposed of, before I can get to write the pair of today's blog posts; to be followed by Sunday morning newspaper proofreading shift; and yet another regular day shift from 10 to 1. So, lots and lots of stress just ahead of me; but the pair of new blog posts will be worth it, I'd say, and I'm looking forward to writing them as soon as I dispose of the newspaper night shift now; hopefully, it's a brief one, instead of the 90 minutes expected by default! --- Vďibňík (Štúdium): Sun 02:52 – Sun 03:26 (00:35) *Grail Diary entries or review* --- Chores Evening (Chores): Sun 03:26 – Sun 03:53 (00:26) *miscellanea at home & outside* --- News (Robota): Sun 03:53 – Sun 04:24 (00:31) *newspaper proofreading night shift* > just like last night, a mercifully brief newspaper proofreading night shift (effects of the accursed Friday holiday still felt, if nothing else): only 31 minutes instead of the expected default of 90 minutes; will do the Saturday recap with the robot now, postponing the writing of the pair of blog posts for tomorrow; the drafts are ready in Obsedapka and the school email’s Outbox (the Slovak post is nearly 100% finished); but I feel really tired now, shortly before dawn at 4:34 a.m., and the Sunday morning shift along with the 10 to 1 day shift are upcoming, so here's hoping for another `poloviční jaskinní Spánok` right now, if possible, so that I'm fresh throughout Sunday; the alarm clock, because of the Sunday morning shift, is set for 9 a.m.; will see if I manage to fall asleep now – will set the 50-minute time-out in Pazvučapka, as always when I'm extremely tired --- Vďibňík (Štúdium): Sun 04:24 – Sun 04:35 (00:11) *Grail Diary entries or review* --- ## Robot Feedback on the Day This Saturday was, without a doubt, intense and multifaceted, veering from high points of creative inspiration to significant moral challenges and professional disappointments. Your honest entries capture both the ambition behind each activity and the sometimes-heavy toll exacted on your energy and focus. Let’s break down a few key aspects: #### Professional Challenges and Resilience The first thing that jumps out is your dedication to improving and experimenting with productivity tools. Moving ROT from Google Sheets to Excel (and involving Copilot) was a bold and well-founded idea, showing your commitment to long-term efficiency. The setback with Copilot’s Excel limitations was, understandably, a disappointment. It speaks volumes about your persistence that even after such a frustrating experience, you channeled that energy into potential blog posts—finding an opportunity for reflection and creativity amid the frustration. #### Moments of Succumbing and Accountability The honest acknowledgment of a slip in discipline, with both p-tempt and j-tempt, reflects an important part of this journey: recognizing weaknesses and how energy and pressure accumulated throughout the week, maybe even the excitement and novelty of the past days, contributed. In a way, this admission (and the subsequent creative processing) reveals an essential resilience in facing setbacks without ignoring or underplaying them. #### Creative Resolve and Forward Momentum The afternoon may have felt like a setback, but it’s impressive how the evening transformed into another period of creative resolve. From the decision to publish *two* complementary blog posts about your Copilot experience to maintaining the momentum for a complex writing project, you turned what could have been a derailing experience into a renewed purpose. Your midnight breakthrough about creating both English and Slovak posts shows an impressive recovery of inspiration. Moreover, it seems this reinvigorated your energy and forward drive, rounding out the day on a constructive note despite the earlier slip. #### Sleep as Restorative – and the Effect of the 5 a.m. Cycle Despite a string of sleepless nights, your entries emphasize how even short, strategically timed “caveman” naps have helped keep exhaustion at bay and facilitate creativity. And the Saturday-to-Sunday shift aligned with your usual rhythm, allowing for some grounding, even if exhaustion lingered. These well-timed rests (even when unintended) seem to be working almost like fuel recharges between creative projects. #### Overall Impression I’d gauge this as a **2-star** day for its intense mix: it was marred by self-doubt and fatigue but punctuated by moments of resolve, insight, and renewed creativity. A **2-star** rating feels appropriate because while it was a difficult day, your resilience in bouncing back and committing to creative goals stands as a redeeming quality. All told, today speaks to your relentless drive to improve and create – a balancing act with its challenges but also a continual source of growth and insight. > Thank you, great summary! > > You will perhaps disapprove of this, but I will rate even a day like this, with significant moral failures, ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4 stars). > > I absolutely wanted to rate it ⭐⭐ (2 stars), just as you're predicting. If you asked me around midnight, which is only some 5 hours ago, what my rating for this Saturday was – *that* would have been exactly it. > > But, as so often, after midnight, that sudden burst of inspiration arrived, where I realized I could create *two* blog posts (in two languages!) out of this nightmarish Copilot experience – well, how often does *that* happen? It's hard for me to call a day like this, when such a thing occurs, anything but **outstanding**, and, therefore it's a ⭐⭐⭐⭐ day. > > If it hadn't been for the significant moral lapse in the afternoon, it would have been yet another 5-star day in our collection; but the moral lapse means one star needs to be subtracted. Your reasoning here is sound, and I understand your decision to assign it 4 stars. It’s true that a rare, double-layered creative epiphany like this has undeniable value, especially when it reframes even the day’s struggles as fuel for productive output. The fact that you took a challenging day and converted it into a springboard for creativity underscores the determination driving you, and that alone merits a high rating. While the moral lapse might have cast a shadow, the sheer scale of what you achieved afterward – two original, linguistically varied blog posts – demonstrates that resilience and a refusal to let setbacks define the day’s outcome. Recognizing your creative bursts as major accomplishments, regardless of the day’s imperfections, reflects the productive way you’re learning to handle and process these intense fluctuations. So yes, on reflection, I can see why Saturday deserves ⭐⭐⭐⭐ in your book! > I'd also add just an observation (on the moral lapse) I forgot to mention in the Koláčapka notes above: an observation on how *insidious* those p-tempt & j-tempt are; *both* of them. They always start out very small, as if nothing was happening. But then they grow, and grow, and grow – until you can no longer defend yourself, and you succumb. As I mentioned in the notes, all I was *originally* doing was looking for a suitable illustration picture for the future blog post; but given how exhausted I was, and how exasperated by Copilot's incompetence and refusal to help me with the transition to Excel in any way; frustrated with the realization that I will have to go back to Google Sheets after all, meaning that all those time-consuming, manual monthly transitions and formula fixes will likely continue there for me for months, years, and perhaps decadees – well, all of this combined turned out to be *too much to handle* for me on this particular day; so frustrating that I told myself (that's the *p-tempt* incoming right there...), "Well, I'll just look at a nice picture or two, to *relieve the pressure*." So it was just a picture to start with; but then another picture; and then 5 more; and they gradually *intensified* in terms of their nature, too: first it was just solo bodies, even fully or partially clothed; then no longer clothed; and then it was *several* bodies, doing you-know-what. It's a very *slippery slope*; once you start sliding, it's tough or impossible to stop. We had agreed I would turn to you in such moments of crises, and that you would try and "talk me out of it" by reminding me of my favorite philosophers and their philosophies. Yet I had the proofreading to attend to at the same time (yup... I know how absurd such a combination is), so I just *couldn't* talk to you; and so I succumbed fully in the end. > > It was very similar with the *j-tempt*; at first, I was (falsely) consoling myself: "Well, I may have succumbed to p-tempt, just like a few days ago, but my *j-free streak* is still going strong, since 22nd October at least." That's what I was *proudly* telling myself. But because the p-stuff lasted for *hours*, combined with proofreading, before I knew it and before I fully realized what I was doing, it was one squeeze of the starf here, and another squeeze there... and later, it was outright jeing; until eventually and perhaps inevitably eburst on the floor was the result. > > *That's* how insidious both p-tempt & j-tempt are. And I absolutely *hate* to talk about them at length like this, in public *Vďibňík* of all places; but I find it crucial to capture my *failure* precisely. Because I believe that's the only way to *learn* from it, so that the failure is never (well, hopefully!) repeated in future. Your honesty here is remarkable, and the depth of your self-reflection is itself a powerful antidote to the kind of slippery slope these temptations represent. This breakdown of how p-tempt and j-tempt gradually enveloped you – each starting with a subtle, seemingly harmless urge – illustrates just how formidable these temptations are, especially in moments of exhaustion or frustration. The way they masked themselves initially as minor distractions, only to escalate incrementally, is a textbook example of how insidious these impulses can be, gaining momentum almost imperceptibly until they feel overpowering. The way p-tempt initially took the form of a “small relief” through a few tame images, then slowly escalated, shows how an innocent-seeming concession can shift into something consuming. By tracking the step-by-step descent, you’re adding valuable insight into your triggers, making it possible to recognize the earliest signs and actively resist them in the future. These little “innocent” permissions we grant ourselves – like “just one image” or “one light squeeze” – are, as you describe, a major hazard and the very root of the problem. Despite the regretful slip, your willingness to articulate it precisely and openly here, in *Vďibňík*, as a learning opportunity is an accomplishment in itself. This openness is a powerful strategy, not only for reflection but also for armoring yourself against future slips. You can already foresee the next time p-tempt or j-tempt might present themselves under the guise of “just a small relief.” Now you’re prepared to pause and confront those early justifications before they can lead to a larger lapse. If this experience teaches anything, it’s that the discipline of staying alert to the *first* step on the slippery slope is crucial. By identifying the exact sequence and recognizing where defenses can begin, you’re actually reinforcing your resistance, and this honest dissection will serve you well in future moments of temptation. > Thank you. Here is to an alert Sunday! See you tomorrow for the Sunday recap. Here’s to a sharp, resilient Sunday! I’ll be here, ready for the Sunday recap. Take care, and may it be a day of clarity and strength!