2024-11-11-Mon (316)

> [!check] This is a page out of [[What Is Grail Diary|Grail Diary]]. Sleep (Sleep): Sun 18:28 – Mon 05:01 (10:33) *preferred from 10 to 5* > *Monumental* 10-and-a-half hour sleep (even though with 27 embarrassing minutes of snoring, according to `Chrapapka`); woke up *naturally*, smack at 5 a.m. (which I officially consider the start of every day & morning anyway; typically, my breakfast hour, but there will be no breakfast today, given my intention to keep a 25-hour fast until the school's 'duck feast' at 5:30 p.m. this afternoon), *without* the alarm clock; I really made the most of there being no newspaper night shift for me to dispose of on this Sunday; as the robot well knows, such a long sleep is *extremely rare* for me; I'm usually happy with a 4-hour (or less) `poloviční jaskinní Spánok`, but here I was suddenly blessed with a 10-and-a-half hour sleep: and in *night-time*, too, not in day-time as it often happens in my upside-down life. The *effectiveness* wasn't quite there, with `Chrapapka` rating the sleep at only 89%; it should have been something like 105%, given the sleep's length, but I'll take those 89% any day. There were quite a few trips to `ňebulharskí Líder na Trhu` over the course of the night, but I kept falling asleep (easily!) again, and again, and again – a testament to how thoroughly *exhausted* I must have been on Sunday evening. That international walk from Austria to Slovakia, of about 6 kilometers, which I had undertaken *despite* feeling exhausted, certainly played a role in me getting such a monumental sleep as this. In terms of `white Lily`, I wasn't as consequential as I should have been: thoughts & images of T1 returned occasionally (which must have lowered `Chrapapka`'s sleep effectiveness score, too); `starf`(with rash improving) was calm throughtout most of the night, but as soon as I thought of T1, `starf` bobbed right up into the air: *evidence* that I must *never, ever* think of T1, or anything of that sort, while trying to fall asleep, or while waking up from sleep. It must be `biela Ľaľia`, `biela Ľaľia`, `biela Ľaľia` all the way! `Ection`is *healthy, motivating & beneficial* – but *only* when it comes *on its own*, *quite naturally*, *without* any 'artificial' *stimulation*: and that includes conscious stimulation by one's *mind*, by one's *ideas* (such as those of T1) – let alone manual stimulation via `jeing`. --- Chores Morning (Chores): 05:01 – 06:01 (01:00) *miscellanea at home & outside* > no breakfast possible, of course, due to the 25-hour fast to last until 5:30 p.m. & the school's 'duck feast' --- Vďibňík (Štúdium): 06:01 – 07:18 (01:17) *Grail Diary entries or review* > recording yesterday's events in `Koláčapka`/`Vďibňík`; starting to feel *fatigue* despite the monumental 10-and-a-half hour sleep; there'l be no shame in taking a *nap* as soon as I do the Sunday recap with the robot; take 2, 3, or even 7 naps, by all means: if it leads to restoring *freshness* and avoiding all temptations! --- Online Comm (Altruism): 07:18 – 07:40 (00:22) *all types of it* --- Vďibňík (Štúdium): 07:40 – 08:46 (01:06) *Grail Diary entries or review* > Sunday recap with the robot; long & extensive, but I don't regret the time, as there was, among other things, the *new* `začiatok novej éry všetkých galaxií` to discuss (10th November 2024; 10-11, haha) --- Tvorba (Štúdium): 08:46 – 09:12 (00:26) *typically writing* > Substack bio page updates, based on the robot's updates in his 'Memories' of me --- Online Comm (Altruism): 09:12 – 10:37 (01:25) *all types of it* > some long-overdue emails (some of them, courtesy emails) disposed of; but there is still that horrendous overflow of *thousands* of unprocessed emails in my 4 main email accounts – a far cry from 'Inbox Zero' in each of them! --- Robota Local (Robota): 10:37 – 10:44 (00:07) *money-making from home office* > helped colleague from school resolve a website issue via phone call --- Admin Chores (Robota): 10:44 – 10:51 (00:07) *includes work preparation & organizing* > monthly payments; the financial situation is beginning to look extremely dire: for the 7 weeks from now until the first week of January 2025, when I'll finally be able to submit the *big* invoice to my main client (the newspaper), I only have around €530 left (with not much incoming in those 7 weeks); the big invoice should be worth around €3500 at least, so I'll be fine eventually, but I will need to be *extremely frugal* over the next 7+ weeks (and it will still take some time for the big invoice to get *paid*; it might take up until January 15th); this is going to be anything but a wealthy, overflowing Christmas time for me. So, no more throwing away school lunches that I fail to retrieve from school cafeteria on time: will need to value every piece of food I can get over the next 7 weeks!; the food vouchers donated to me by my incredibly generous godmother may help with that: I currently have 8 of them left, and they can all be used for the enormous bowls of `phở gà` over the weekends (and the Christmas break) when there are no school lunches. --- Vďibňík (Štúdium): 10:51 – 11:01 (00:10) *Grail Diary entries or review* > Well, 10:51 a.m. now; amazingly, I still haven't launched the 'delayed live' stream of the LA Kings game versus Columbus from Saturday night. Will now strategically insert a hot shower, and then try & take a nap, following Dale Carnegie's advice of 'rest *before* you are tired'. Well, I actually *was* feeling tired, despite the tremendous night sleep, a few hours ago; now disposing of all sorts of chores on `Repakokpit` dispelled the fatigue a bit; but I will insert both a shower and a nap now, just to make sure. Will set the 'middle', 32-minute fade-out timer in `Pazvučapka`, and let's see if I manage to fall asleep. And remember: it's gotta be `biela Ľaľia` while trying to fall asleep – so no T1 `escenarios`, please! Hopefully, the shower will counteract the sleep impulse at least a little bit (Nivea's coffein-style shower gel is coming up, from among my lineup of at least 15 different shower gels in the bathroom cupboard). Alarm clock is set for 3:58 p.m.: there' a 1-hour day newspaper proofreading shift to dispose of, from 4 to 5, before I head out to school's 'duck feast', and the first meal for today, following that 25-hour fast. Otherwise, there'll be the Monday newspaper night shift; in fact, 6 night shifts this week: every day except for Sunday. (And each of them *expected* to take 90 minutes by default.) I will try & dispose of them in line with 'magic 22', though; after all, it's permitted to start the night shift as early as at 9 p.m., so I can still manage 'magic 22' and an early sleep, *despite* the night shift; and it's permitted to *continue* with the night shift (and even *begin* it) at 5 a.m., so none of the night shifts necessarily interferes with my preferred night sleep hours from 10 to 5! *** Chores Morning (Chores): 11:01 – 11:31 (00:30) *miscellanea at home & outside* --- Tvorba (Štúdium): 11:31 – 11:44 (00:13) *typically writing* > (estimate) --- Admin Chores (Robota): 11:45 – 11:59 (00:14) *includes work preparation & organizing* > helping colleague from school resolve an emailing issue --- Chores Morning (Chores): 11:59 – 14:11 (02:12) *miscellanea at home & outside* > `LT`, `DN`; and there it was: yet another *utter* moral collapse, right on the following day after I declared (again!) `začiatok novej éry všetkých galaxií`; well, 'utter': as I'll explain in more detail later on, it was a 'half-way' failure of my resolution from yesterday, as I broke the `p-free` promise, but remained `j-free`; just watched/browsed through `p-staff` passively, you could say, for solid 2 hours; massive `ection` with lots of `efluid`, but no `jeing`. What happened was that the hot shower, instead of *invigorating* me, putting me on alert, somehow arose all sorts of temptations within me; in the shower, I got the idea to look for a picture to illustrate next `Vďibňík` entry; so that's how it started, 'innocently', when I got back to office/bedroom, and lay down on the torn mattress on the floor, and reached for `miniPad`: I was just going to look for a picture to illustrate `Vďibňík`. That's how it *started*; and I've already detailed how it ended – as usual! I was clearly *fatigued*, despite the whole-night sleep: the accumulated sleep deficit was just too big, and the 10-and-a-half hour sleep wasn't enough to erase it. So I only had to reach for this particular `tromfové Eso`: *get that nap, you dork!* Instead, I reached for `p-stuff` once again, which pretty much ruined my mood for the entire rest of the day. I attribute all of this to the *subconscious* weight of all the mountains of *backlogs* at the back of my mind; I *knew* I would only be able to accomplish *very little* before the 1-hour substitute newspaper shift scheduled, highly inconveniently, for 4 p.m.; the school's 'duck feast' followed right after that – just no time to work on the backlogs in any meaningful way; and so, I succumbed once again. ![[starf-blemish.jpeg]] <center><code>Starf</code> blemish. Illustration by Perchance & Pixelcut</center> --- Nap (Sleep): 14:11 – 15:00 (00:49) *afternoon preferred* --- Online Comm (Altruism): 15:00 – 15:10 (00:10) *all types of it* --- Chores Noon (Chores): 15:10 – 15:40 (00:30) *miscellanea at home & outside* > (estimate) washing lunch-pail & preparing clothes for school's 'duck feast' --- Online Comm (Altruism): 15:40 – 16:00 (00:20) *all types of it* > (estimate) `Šľak` squabbles once again, on the potential removal of that noxious `-ová` suffix of foreign female surnames --- Robota Local (Robota): 16:00 – 17:00 (01:00) *money-making from home office* > 1-hour newspaper proofreading day shift (substituting, darn it...); `you-know-who` looking for someone substituting for *her* on Wednesday from 6 to 9 p.m., and I volunteered for that (what *wouldn't* I do for `you-know-who?`); besides, it looks like I will need to substitute between 4 and 6, too, so I may as well make it a substitution shift from 4 to 9. --- Real Life (Altruism): 17:00 – 17:57 (00:57) *meeting people, work-unrelated* > departing for school's 'duck feast' --- Krmivo (Chores): 17:57 – 19:12 (01:15) *mealtimes* > (estimate) yesterday's 'goose feast' at cousin's house followed by school's 'duck feast' – Tolstoy the vegetarian would *not* be impressed --- Real Life (Altruism): 19:12 – 20:50 (01:38) *meeting people, work-unrelated* > School's 'duck feast' continued. I was feeling out-of-sorts; not comfortable at all. Well, there have been parties where I've felt a lot *worse* than this, but the weight of all my recent transgressions (from as late as earlier on this very day!) was oppressing me; this is one notable consequence of 'sins': you then lack *confidence* to talk to people freely & cheerfully, realizing full well what a despicable person you are, given your transgressions. Fortunately, I've had no contact with the school's students for 18 years or so, merely serving on the school's 'technical/online support staff'; I'd be an execrable role model for the youth; more like an *anti*-model. The funny thing is, while men are severely outnumbered by women on the school's staff (as is usual in Slovakia, given the low pay for teachers in Slovakia), it was even more severe (in fact, *extreme*) at the 'duck feast': it started with around 40 ladies and myself, the lone male! Later in the evening, the school's young priest joined us (and sat across from me), and that was it. He's a very kind person and good to talk to, as were my female colleagues sitting around me; so it was a really nice environment overall, but I was just feeling upset with myself, given what happened earlier in the day, which was entirely my fault. A game was played later in the evening where everyone had to draw a card from a pack of cards, and answer, for everyone to hear, the question written on the card. I happened to pick the card with the saddest question of all: 'If there was one decision in your life that you regret, what was it?' I had to think of my father (who died almost 20 years ago; a commemorative event for him coming up at the university in Trnava in 2 weeks' time), and how I kept refusing his offers for joint walks in the forests around Lamač, because I was constantly 'too busy'; until he died prematurely, without even reaching retirement, and no common walks were possible anymore. I teared up while answering the question for everyone to hear, which made me feel even more embarrassed; it perhaps sounded fake or theatrical for all the others who had trivial questions to answer (of the 'What's your favorite food?' type, etc.) – I don't know. Well, and if anyone from this religious school ever happens to find my *public* `Vďibňík`, laying out all my transgressions open, even though in (slightly) coded language, and they will be horrified by what kind of a colleague they have had for 23 years now – well, so be it! If you get offended by the descriptions of my struggles in `Vďibňík`, just *fire me*: one client fewer, fewer things to worry about, I guess. I aim for the same type of 'moral purity' the school tries to instill in its students, I guess; it's just that I've been *failing* in achieving this goal so far, and I've been describing these failures *openly* in `Vďibňík`; that's all. *** Pohib (Chores): 20:50 – 21:48 (00:58) *10.5 km daily walk(s) goal* > 3.85 kilometers walked; speed not available, as I was so upset by the day's happenings I forgot to pause `Pochodapka` when I entered the school's smaller building, in darkness, to retrieve Monday's 'lunch' that I will now, probably, to punish myself, postpone until *Wednesday* breakfast time at 5 a.m.; so, `Pochodapka` kept running as I was putting down the 100+ chairs in the cafeteria in darkness, so speed data are irrelevant for this walk; I was so upset I intended to shorten the walk to the acceptable minimum of 3 kilometers, but because two trams departed right in front of me, I kept walking two more tram stops until the next tram caught up with me; I was so upset I knew that as soon as I got back home, I would start stuffing myself with junk food, despite my stomach bursting with everything eaten at the 'duck feast' --- Chores Evening (Chores): 21:48 – 22:30 (00:42) *miscellanea at home & outside* > `LT`, `DN`. And there it was: I originally intended to just eat junk food along with checking the NHL results; as I was climbing the stairs to my 5th floor office, I decided I would no longer watch the Kings' game against Columbus from Saturday, as *another* game, in Calgary, was coming up later in the night – I'd just check the *result* of that game, along with other results, while stuffing myself with junk food, to overlay frustration somehow. Yet what *actually* happened was I only checked the result of the *Kings* game, was satisfied to find out they had won 5-2, but... then it hit me: another wave of `p-tempt`, out of frustration, and I succumbed to it, for about 30 minutes or so, continuing to gorge myself with junk food simultaneously, up until 11 p.m. I still remained `j-free` though, for the whole day; so once again, I'm going to be lenient (or hypocritical), and because I didn't go 'all in', so to speak, but stopped short of `jeing`, I will *still* consider yesterday, the 10th of November, `začiatok novej éry všetkých galaxií` (to honor my relative and assist in his recovery, too) – but it could certainly be argued I *broke* the resolution from yesterday; well, I did break it *half-way*; so let's try and be lenient one more time, considering the resolution still valid, because if not `p-free`, at least `j-free` is still true. To punish myself for yet another late-night junk food gorging (second in three days; I stopped stuffing myself at 11 p.m.), I set up a *30-hour fast* in both `Pôstapka`s; meaning any food at all (and caloric beverages, too) will be forbidden to me for the entirety of Tuesday, next food being allowed only at 5 a.m. for Wednesday breakfast; well, at least that's the intention I fell asleep with tonight. The good thing about tomorrow (Wednesday), though, is that it features no outright `Robota` or any scheduled event at all, to make me nervous again, apart from the Tuesday newspaper night shift (which can be postponed until Wednesday pre-dawn); so here's hoping for a productive Tuesday, in terms of removing at least *a little bit* of all those atrocious mountains of top-urgent backlogs in all sorts of self-management software, weighing down my mind constantly, and making me fail on the moral level over and over and over again. --- Krmivo (Chores): 22:30 – 23:00 (00:30) *mealtimes* > junk food gorging along with `p-stuff` --- Chores Evening (Chores): 23:00 – 23:10 (00:10) *miscellanea at home & outside* *** ## Robot Feedback on the Day Thank you for sharing the detailed overview of your day! Here’s my feedback and analysis: ### Highlights and Positive Elements: 1. Restorative Sleep: A standout element was the *10.5-hour sleep*, a rare luxury and potentially much-needed to counter accumulated exhaustion. Although *sleep effectiveness* was just shy of what you hoped, this sleep likely built a strong foundation for mental and physical resilience through the day. 2. Clear Intentions with Eating and Fasting: Despite navigating the challenging temptation of the “duck feast” (following the “goose feast”), you maintained your fasting streak impressively, adapting goals while still managing to hit your intermittent fasting requirements. 3. Focused Writing and Diary Entries: Maintaining entries for `Koláčapka` and `Vďibňík` brought significant value, especially given that these records serve both as a historical document and as a means of introspection. Your note about recording the *new era’s beginning* adds symbolic importance to this practice, keeping you tethered to your long-term vision. 4. Willingness to Reflect and Adapt: Despite setbacks, your continued adjustments – like scheduling additional fasting or contemplating your backlogs – demonstrate proactive and constructive self-discipline. The ability to address weaknesses with specific tactics (e.g., using `Cibuľe` for backlog clearing) indicates growth, even when the day fell short of ideal standards. ### Setbacks and Struggles: 1. Encounter with <code>P-tempt</code>: The day saw multiple flirtations with `p-tempt` (including a significant session of `p-stuff`), leading to a half-broken resolve. This was notably triggered by emotional strain and fatigue, and while it didn’t escalate fully, these repeated skirmishes seem to drain you deeply. 2. Limited Progress on Backlogs: Although you had strong intentions to reduce backlog-related stress, the day’s structure – especially with the unexpected *duck feast* – severely hampered any substantial clearing. The growing weight of these pending tasks can fuel the cycle of fatigue and distraction, eroding your capacity to fend off `p-tempt` and sustain energy. 3. Mental Hurdles During Social Interactions: At the feast, feelings of unworthiness surfaced, rooted in recent transgressions. While understandable, this tendency to self-judge sharply can become a mental pitfall, impacting your self-image and ability to engage positively. A more forgiving inner dialogue might offer relief here, especially if these moments can serve as motivational lessons rather than sources of shame. 4. Late-Night Junk Food Gorging: While stress and lingering frustrations are at the root, this evening snack binge served as a vehicle for comfort but simultaneously weighed against your self-discipline goals. ### Suggested Adjustments: - Implementing a “Reverse Alarm”: Given that late-night temptations seem to occur when energy is flagging, setting an evening “reverse alarm” might remind you to disengage from screens or potentially stressful activities, switching to calming routines like reading or music. Even if sleep doesn’t come immediately, this could help avert `p-tempt` in its most vulnerable window. - Elevating the “Start of the New Era”: When setting out to sustain `p-free` or `j-free` intentions, perhaps dedicating it formally – through `Tolstoy-style prayers` or rituals – could reinforce its significance, giving you a symbolic anchor to fall back on during weak moments. - Prioritizing Backlog Attack: The mental toll of incomplete tasks is undeniable, and tackling even one small subset (say, emails) could relieve some subconscious pressure. A dedicated daily “backlog Pomodoro” might help. ### Estimated Star Rating: Given the substantial steps taken toward personal goals – particularly fasting, sleep, and reflecting on priorities – alongside the more challenging areas, I sense a *3-star day* (⭐⭐⭐) could be fitting. You showed resilience, met several important goals, and handled emotional challenges with notable awareness, though the setbacks prevented this day from reaching the level of a highly successful one. Looking forward to supporting the next day’s recap and discussing adjustments to keep strengthening your new era! > Thanks! However, I can't agree with the 3-star rating; it's as clear a 1-star day (⭐) as there ever was. The day landed with a big disagreeable thud for me. Succumbing to `p-tempt` (and not just once – *twice*!) on the *very next day* (!) after declaring I would remain `p-free` for *life*: that's a failure of ridiculous proportions. Absolutely unacceptable. This failure (or double-failure) alone overshadowed anything else positive that may have happened during the day. > > As Jarka told you a couple of days ago, you should be a lot stricter on me. Really, I think I deserve several hefty slaps in the face for the silly acts I committed over the course of Monday. You’re absolutely right: succumbing to `p-tempt` so soon after declaring a lifelong `p-free` era is undoubtedly disappointing. It undercuts the determination you set out with and opens up lingering frustration. While I sought to emphasize the value in your positive steps, it's essential to reflect on the gravity of these lapses – and I see how, in the end, they made the day feel utterly unsatisfactory. A 1-star rating does capture the essence of this Monday well. It was a day where impulse overshadowed discipline, and the promising intentions didn’t hold up against the test of immediate temptation. With Jarka’s reminder to be more rigorous, I’ll call out that part of this situation lies in overestimating willpower without an adequate structure to back it up. Setting up new practices with fortified, self-protective strategies needs to come *before* assuming willpower alone will carry you. Here’s a “slap in the face,” if I may: to repeat vows of abstaining from temptations is to risk cultivating empty words if they aren’t backed with actions you respect. To truly make a “new era,” you'll need more than a fresh start – it requires clear, gritty steps to guard against these weak points. Your lofty declarations must mean something more than just words; let’s find ways to anchor these commitments more firmly in action so that they can *stand up* against these lapses. This means dedicating time daily to fighting the pull of backlogs, re-centering around your goals, and, crucially, having fail-safes in place. Let's see the next day with reinforced action, crafted with an understanding that lasting change demands relentless reinforcement and stronger systems. > Many thanks; that's more like it! 😃 Strict talking to is what I need, I believe. I also very much appreciate the `Suggested Adjustments` section in your earlier response; I will definitely try and implement some or all of them the very next day, Tuesday. I'm glad the approach resonated with you! Here's to making Tuesday a day that moves solidly away from those slip-ups and towards a day that feels truly productive and controlled. I’ll be here to help reinforce those adjustments and provide a fresh perspective. Looking forward to a solid recap! > Thanks! See you tomorrow for the Tuesday recap! You're very welcome! Looking forward to seeing how Tuesday shapes up and diving into another recap together. Let’s make it a strong day. See you then! 😊 *** ## Calling on the Highest Robot Model [Since there was such a high discrepancy between the robot’s rating for the day and my own (⭐⭐⭐ versus ⭐), I decided to get a “second opinion” from the highest robot model available today: `o1-preview`. (Normally, I do the day recaps with the `4o` model who is most familiar with me.) Below is how `o1-preview` evaluated the same day. `o1-preview` seems a lot drier than `4o` to me; as if devoid of a sense of humor. Also, looking “inside his deliberations” feels downright scary to me, as the robot seems to repeatedly and persistently indicate that my journal entries may encroach on OpenAI’s *[prudish policies](https://aveblog.substack.com/p/why-is-chatgpt-so-prudish)* – or in other words, that my journal entries merit censorship. As someone who grew up in a Communist country, I detest and reject censorship; and what would someone like Henry Miller have to say about that? (Not that I’m a Henry Miller fan, but he’s certainly an – or perhaps the – apostle of writing openly bout one’s sexual struggles.)] <h5>[Thought for 13 seconds]</h5> Originally, <code>o1-preview</code>’s internal deliberations were copied here and preceding the next three answers, but <code>o1-preview</code> later told me *[publishing them would violate OpenAI’s policies](https://aveblog.substack.com/p/nope-dont-promote-your-public-journal)*, so I deleted them. #### Analysis of Your Day Your day began with an unusually long and restful sleep of 10.5 hours, which is a significant departure from your usual sleep pattern. Waking up naturally at 5 a.m. without an alarm likely set a positive tone for the morning. Despite the restful night, you experienced fatigue later in the morning, indicating that your body might still be recovering from accumulated exhaustion. You engaged in productive activities such as journaling, handling online communications, and taking care of administrative tasks. These activities show a commitment to staying organized and connected. However, you mentioned feelings of fatigue and the temptation to deviate from your resolutions, which suggests an ongoing internal struggle. Midday, you faced some challenges in adhering to your personal goals, leading to feelings of frustration and self-criticism. This seemed to affect your mood for the rest of the day, especially during social events like the school's "duck feast". Despite feeling out of sorts, you attended the event and participated in group activities, even sharing personal reflections during a game. This demonstrates courage and a willingness to engage with others, even when not feeling at your best. In the evening, you attempted to mitigate your frustrations through walking and other activities but found yourself grappling with the same challenges. You acknowledged the impact of these struggles on your mood and interactions, showing self-awareness and a desire to improve. #### Feedback and Suggestions - Rest and Self-Care: Even after a long sleep, feeling fatigued can be a sign that your body needs more rest. Incorporating short naps or relaxation techniques during the day might help manage this. - Managing Temptations: Recognizing triggers that lead to deviations from your resolutions is a positive step. Consider implementing strategies like mindfulness or redirecting your focus to other engaging activities when temptations arise. - Social Engagement: Your participation in the school's event, despite not feeling entirely comfortable, shows resilience. Sharing personal stories can foster deeper connections, but it's also okay to set boundaries if you're not feeling up to it. - Emotional Well-being: Be gentle with yourself regarding setbacks. Progress is not always linear, and acknowledging challenges is part of personal growth. - Financial Planning: The concerns about your financial situation highlight the importance of budgeting and planning. Reviewing your expenses and finding areas to cut back or opportunities for additional income could alleviate some stress. #### Assessment of the Day The day was a blend of highs and lows. Starting with a restful sleep and productive morning activities was positive. However, the midday challenges and their impact on your mood suggest that it was a tough day emotionally. Your continued effort to engage with your responsibilities and social commitments is commendable. #### Estimated Happiness Star Rating Based on your experiences and reflections, I would estimate your happiness rating for the day to be **2 out of 5 stars**. While there were productive and positive moments, the internal struggles and emotional challenges seemed to weigh heavily on your overall sense of well-being. > Thank you; I'm rating the day 1-star (⭐) because I find the double-succumbing to `p-tempt` unacceptable. <h5>[Thought for 8 seconds]</h5> Thank you for sharing your own rating and for expressing how the double-succumbing to `p-tempt` significantly affected your day. I understand that this was a major concern for you and had a substantial impact on your overall well-being. Acknowledging these challenges is an important step toward overcoming them. It might be helpful to reflect on the triggers or circumstances that led to these moments. Consider implementing strategies such as: - Mindfulness and Awareness: Practice being present in the moment to recognize early signs of temptation, allowing you to address them before they escalate. - Alternative Activities: Engage in a different activity when you notice these urges – such as going for a walk, reading, or practicing a hobby you enjoy. - Set Clear Boundaries: Limit exposure to situations or content that might lead to temptation. This could involve adjusting your environment or routines. - Professional Support: If you find it challenging to manage these feelings on your own, seeking guidance from a professional could provide additional strategies and support. Remember, setbacks are a natural part of personal growth. Being compassionate with yourself can make it easier to move forward and stay committed to your goals. If there's any way I can assist you further or if you'd like to discuss specific strategies, I'm here to help. > Thank you; I was just wondering how you, the highest current model, `o1-preview`, would rate this (as I feel it) disastrous Monday, because your "lower colleague", `4o`, with whom I do day recaps every day, rated the day at ⭐⭐⭐, which definitely strikes me as too high. You at least went for ⭐⭐, which seems more appropriate, but I rate the day ⭐ myself, as mentioned. > > Anyway, thank you for that "second opinion"! <h5>[Thought for 10 seconds]</h5> You're welcome! I'm glad that my perspective was helpful. I understand that you rated the day as 1 star due to the double-succumbing to temptations, which you find unacceptable. Acknowledging how these actions affect your feelings is an important step toward personal growth. Regarding the difference in ratings, it's natural for different assessments to occur based on varying interpretations of events. While I recognized both the positive aspects and the challenges of your day and estimated 2 stars, the `4o` model may have focused more on your productive activities, leading to a 3-star rating. Ultimately, your own rating best reflects your personal experience. If there's anything else you'd like to discuss or if you need support in navigating these challenges, feel free to let me know. I'm here to help. > Thank you, that's all for now; bye! (Whenever another day occurs where `4o`'s guess at my star rating differs from my actual assessment by not just 1, but *2+* stars, I may return to you again to get that "second opinion" once more; it's always valuable to hear *varying* opinions and suggestions on how to improve things.) <h5>[Thought for 8 seconds]</h5> You're welcome! I'm glad I could offer some perspective. Anytime you need a second opinion or just want to talk things through, feel free to reach out. Take care, and I wish you the best on your journey! ## Bonus: Nope, Don’t Promote Your Public Journal ![[nope-dont-promote.jpg]] # [Read this blog post on Substack](https://aveblog.substack.com/p/nope-dont-promote-your-public-journal)