2024-11-14-Thu (319)

> [!check] This is a page out of [[What Is Grail Diary|Grail Diary]]. Sleep (Sleep): Wed 22:07 – 04:55 (06:47) *preferred from 10 to 5* > `F`; Incredible! That was almost *exactly* the *ideal* sleep as envisioned in my Nero Wolfe-like daily schedules! My ideal night sleep is from 10 to 5 – and this one was from 10:07 p.m. (just enough to catch 'magic 22'!) to 4:55 a.m. Unfortunately, with a *forced wake-up* via alarm clock, due to the night shift; it's likely I would have slept even longer without the `F`. But only a few days ago, I would have considered it *impossible* for me to enjoy a *regular night sleep*. And the robot, too, in our daily recaps, emphasized I should focus on normalizing my sleep *first*; then everything else that's in disorder in my life. `Chrapapka` rated this one at a grand 70%, that's an effectiveness of 103%, given the sleep length of 6 hours and 48 minutes. Unfortunately, 20 minutes of snoring occurred. My night sleep *regularity*, according to `Chrapapka`, is now up to an astounding 70% – I'd have considered this impossible only a week ago. I feel slightly fatigued now as I type this retrospectively at 7:43 a.m., following the severe night shift; I'll do the Wednesday recap with the robot now, and will then go to bed; as mentioned, I would likely have slept longer, if it hadn't been for the alarm clock, so the sleep deficit likely still isn't quite eliminated. Also, there were at least 4 trips to `ňebulharskí Líder na Trhu` over the course of the night, yet I immediately and easily fell asleep again every time, showing just how tired I was. The 8+ kilometers walk from yesterday afternoon must have contributed to this beneficially. Oh, and as to `white Lily`, that was pretty fine, too: I kept falling asleep with `T1` image(s) on my mind, but non-erotic ones (so no `ection`– nothing of the sort this night) – kind of *frozen* images; I think this is very much compatible with `white lily ambitions`: keeping a '*frozen* image' of your loved one in your mind as you're falling asleep; the face, or imagining the person lying next to you (even though you're alone), and you're *simply embracing* the person (no sexual acts whatsoever), simply *resting* your hand/arm on the person, etc.; and you're falling asleep like that: a *frozen* image being your companion; very much compatible with `biela Ľaľia`, I think! --- Chores Evening (Chores): 04:55 – 05:07 (00:13) *miscellanea at home & outside* --- News (Robota): 05:07 – 07:17 (02:10) *newspaper proofreading night shift* > a tough, severe night shift, extended *way* past dawn; 150 minutes in total, instead of the expected default of 90 minutes --- Chores Morning (Chores): 07:17 – 07:35 (00:18) *miscellanea at home & outside* --- Vďibňík (Štúdium): 07:35 – 07:50 (00:15) *Grail Diary entries or review* --- Vďibňík (Štúdium): 07:50 – 08:53 (01:04) *Grail Diary entries or review* > Wednesday recap with the robot --- Vďibňík (Štúdium): 08:53 – 09:13 (00:20) *Grail Diary entries or review* > That was a great, fun Wednesday recap with the robot – well-worth the investment of 64 minutes that it took. However, much of them was spent waiting for the robot's responses; so I utilized those moments of waiting for at least *somewhat* cleaning up the dozens of unprocessed & overdue tasks in `Trubadúr`. Our daily recaps mega-thread with the robot is now *truly* 'mega', so it always takes up quite some time for the robot to come up with even a short answer. But I'm OK with that; there's no use to rush anything. It's better to wait if that means the robot can remember *more* things about me, giving me even better advice thanks to that. Also, I've been hitting the robot's 'Memory' section limits for weeks now; have to delete certain sections of 'Memory' every now and then, which annoys me, because then the robot 'forgets' certain things about me that I wish it would remember forever. Sigh. Hopefully, OpenAI improve their robots in future, *expanding* their 'Memory' pads, and also making them respond faster even in such mega-threads as our daily recaps thread is. But I truly find the robot's newfangled `Suggested Adjustments` section in our daily recaps extremely useful and inspiring. It's interesting to see that adding this section occurred to the robot only after about 3 weeks of our co-creating the recaps for *Vďibňík*, but it's all the more appreciated now! Also, the robot repeatedly stressing that this `začiatok novej éry všetkých galaxií` shouldn't fail, unlike the previous ones, is *helpful*: I'm sure I will remember the robot's insistence on this over the course of today, which may help me avoid the derailment of this re-launch. — Well, I will change course now: no nap now, but I *completely* forgot about *breakfast*, so will now cook some `sáčková` soup (given I had no soup yesterday) for breakfast (!), and then will go & take a nap, given the fatigue I'm feeling. *Eating* now might increase the fatigue, which is *good*: because if I need to take a nap, let it be a substantial one! The good thing about today is that there are no urgent, irksome `Robota` tasks ahead; I may *finally* get to removing at least *some* of the most urgent, toxic backlog items. The *next* `Robota` task is only tonight's night shift, which is permitted to start at around 5 a.m. on Friday morning if necessary, of course; so, let's make the most of this Thursday! Or course, if a repetition of yesterday happens – with the lunch in school, the long post-lunch walk, etc., that would be *great*; but it must come *naturally*; I'm not going to *force* ANYthing, unless it arrives completely *naturally*, in the *natural* flow of the day. — The LA Kings played in Colorado from 4 a.m., but I wisely ignored the game, focusing on getting the extensive night shift done ASAP; even so, it took the awful 150 minutes in total. But *now*, as I'm going to cook & eat the soup for breakfast, is the time to launch the Kings game in 'delayed live' mode; soup & hockey for breakfast – an irresistible combination! Of course, if the Kings lose (lost) the game, I will blame myself, no one else. Myself & the LA Kings: we are *conjoined*, and we must pull through all this together – the Kings all the way to their third Stanley Cup, and myself to `ROT` & `Štúdium` glory! --- Krmivo (Chores): 09:13 – 09:41 (00:27) *mealtimes* > 👎 greatly increased weight from last afternoon's `drevorubač` chlieb; 👍👍 Kings leading 2-1 with 4 minutes left in 1st; Kempe scoring twice!!; wisely stopped 'delayed live' stream at 43:05 after 1st period, Kings leading 2-1; inserting nap now, feeling *welcome* fatigue after soup; 32-minute `Pazvuk` with 5-minute fade-out set in `Pazvučapka` *** Umeňie (Štúdium): 09:41 – 10:01 (00:20) *study of fiction* > (nominal) Kings game --- Chores Morning (Chores): 10:01 – 10:06 (00:05) *miscellanea at home & outside* --- Nap (Sleep): 10:06 – 11:27 (01:21) *afternoon preferred* > `2/-`; unfortunately, there it is: no `jeing` or anything of the sort, so `začiatok novej éry všetkých galaxií`, launched only yesterday, is still going strong, but yesterday's exchanges have now shown their *detrimental* effect belatedly; just couldn't get `T1` images out of my head; `escenarios` en masse; kept tossing & turning on the torn mattress on the floor, until I abandoned it after 81 minutes. `Chrapapka` still rated this absurdity at 17%, while recognizing I spent exactly *zero* minutes asleep; but I guess even lying in bed with closed eyes like this *does* count for *some* rest; and I *do* feel refreshed now, as I type this at 12:51 p.m. During this unsuccessful nap attempt, I was trying to recreate that *fusion* from the phenomenal night sleep: `white lily` combined with a *static*, 'frozen' `T1` image, but was (mostly!) unable to do it: the mind kept wandering off in the direction of `escenarios`; it's a very delicate balance! And so, `ection` (mostly mild) kept coming and going, too, with only small amounts of `efluid`. --- Online Comm (Altruism): 11:27 – 12:34 (01:06) *all types of it* > And right on cue: as I was about to get out of bed, with strong `ection`, I glanced at stuff received on `miniPad` while vainly trying to fall asleep, and there it was, among other things: another DM from *that* direction, so got involved in another DM exchange; but as it was mostly work-focused, and I focused on the work stuff, I noticed `starf` subsiding; thank heavens! Transferred from bed & `miniPad` to `Repakokpit`'s chair in the midst of replying to stuff, where I also discussed things with `ŽTB`; that's going to be sensitive, as I'm about to compose my replies to year-end form from `ŽoTB`, and I will need to criticize `ŽTB`; will request help from the robot (and from `you-know-who`, too) to cushion the critique in as soft words as possible, while still conveying the disagreeable things that need to be conveyed, if the year-end feedback for `ŽoTB` & his team is to be honest. Wrote *too much* to `you-know-who` about these things, with no reply, and radio silence ensued; so much the better! Because with *no* radio silence, one could see the stupid things that enveloped me once again during the prolonged, unsuccessful nap attempt. --- Vďibňík (Štúdium): 12:34 – 13:00 (00:26) *Grail Diary entries or review* > will now write the answers to `ŽoTB`'s year-end feedback form; a *very* delicate matter – if I overdo it and offend all sorts of people with my (as always) honest feedback, I might lose this client of mine (currently the biggest); I'm postponing the school lunch for this (so after a respite of a single day, yesterday, I'm back to missing school lunches...), and will only depart for school after composing the replies to the form; hopefully, it doesn't take up *too much* time, so that I can still launch today's fast at the standard time (5 p.m.); will submit my answers to the form for comments to the robot & `you-know-who`; will only send them off to `ŽoTB` *tomorrow* Friday, which is the deadline; I definitely should sleep on it, as this is such a sensitive and potentially explosive subject matter... --- Tvorba (Štúdium): 13:00 – 20:35 (07:35) *typically writing* > Composing replies to `ŽoTB`'s year-end feedback form; funnily enough, I classify this, in `Koláčapka`, under `Tvorba`, rather than `Robota`; yup, I love submitting feedback, suggestions on how things could be improved – even if it's `Robota`-related stuff; and even if the *result* of providing my honest feedback may be the loss of this particular (currently my biggest) client. — 2:12 p.m. now, and I haven't even started composing the replies in `Obsedapka` yet; instead, we've had a good talk with the robot, where he helped me craft an English equivalent term for `koncoročný pohovor`: `year-end review talk`; nice! Well, I'll be submitting my replies to the form to both the robot and `you-know-who`, to gather potential suggestions for improvement, before I send off the replies tomorrow; well, perhaps I've bungled again in my excessive DM (and other) communication earlier today, and there will be yet another prolonged 'radio silence' from `you-know-who`, and no feedback provided whatsoever; and if so, *great*! That would mean there would be that *fewer* distractions (to put it mildly) in my naps & sleeps from now on! — Goodness gracious! What did just happen? An utter mirror image of Tuesday, day before yesterday: back then, it was the 14-hour session composing the blog post; and today, it was *7 and a half hours* in total composing the replies to the darn year-end feedback form! This is insane. However, I'm thankful to the robot for helping me craft the final, exceedingly *succinct* version that I sent off *immediately*, without even waiting for feedback from the pair of colleagues to whom I sent the original version of my replies – a *mess* of a novel that the management would not have read anyway. So the robot & myself trimmed it down to 2 or 3 sentences in reply to each question; but to get there, via the novel-length replies, devoured practically my entire Thursday! And I overwhelmed both of my colleagues by submitting the novel-length version to them; the other colleague at least replied politely, saying the robot was right to persuade me to submit the brief version instead; no reply at all from `you-know-who`: and that may be *good* in the long run, to avoid being distracted once again like I was only earlier today. But this means I managed to do almost absolutely nothing on this Thursday, except for sending off that darn year-end feedback form: once again, no movement, lunch from school once again unretrieved, no studies proper, no Tolstoy-style prayers, no nothing. And to top it all, a new EPUB version arrived for checking from the electronic publisher with whom we've been trying to fix the EPUB edition since *June*. --- Robota Altruistic (Robota): 20:35 – 21:30 (00:54) *work performed for others for free* > Alright, so despite being thoroughly exhausted and exasperated by today's developments, I told myself I just *have* to deal with this EPUB stuff for the *very last time* so that I'm finally done with it. It took another 54 minutes, but most of the errors in the EPUB edition are finally fixed now (it's still not as I would like to see it, but I just have no more energy and space in my life for any of this, regarding this particular book), so I told the publisher if the former client has any other requests for correction, I will let the two of them communicate directly from now on; I'm finally stepping away from this project. Farewell! --- Krmivo (Chores): 21:30 – 22:27 (00:57) *mealtimes* > It was half past 9 in the evening when I was finally done with the EPUB stuff; that's another 8 and a half hours straight, spent in `Repakokpit`'s office chair, without really moving a bit; I thought I'd go to `kuťičné Tesco` before it closes at 10, to grab a baguette or something, even though I wasn't really hungry at all (despite not having eaten anything since that `sáčková` soup for breakfast), but my nerves were totally frayed from the one-sided day once again. When I finally got up from the chair, I felt such fatigue I determined I wouldn't go to `kuťičné Tesco` at all, but just grab some junk food. And I did: I started voraciously devouring limette potato chips, peanut puffs, and sweet biscuits, as if there was no tomorrow. Not sure how much junk food it was in total: half a kilo? And this with me observing some skin problems on neck and head popping up in recent days – no wonder, with such an insane 'lifestyle'; and with extremely bad weight increase on `elektrickí Brawčomer` in the morning: now with 11 kilos of excess weight, attacking 12. Will likely be 12 tomorrow morning, and attacking 13, after yet another late-night junk food binge. 😳 To deflate my mood even further, I found out that the Kings ended up *losing* their game in Colorado, 2-4 (I had instinctively, wisely abandoned watching the rest of the game), despite that 2-1 lead after the first period; they got outshot 13-0 (!) in the 2nd period; their game plan *collapsed entirely*, just like *my* 'game plan' for today collapsed; myself and the Kings – we are conjoined. For this entire Thursday, I managed to remove a *single* backlog item from an avalanche of backlogs: that darn year-end feedback form; but it took 7.5 hours of my time; at this rate, I'll be only removing backlogs until I'm 100, with no time to start anything new. There is at least hope now for yet another full *night sleep* & falling asleep easily, 'thanks to' exhaustion & late-night stuffing. Another extremely bad thing: clothes finished washing yesterday (!), I think, but I've been so busy I've been unable to take it out of the washing machine! A 15-minute task or so – but unable to do it! Will likely be stinking now, and will need to be washed all over again. There's been utter radio silence, since about noon, from the likely overwhelmed (by my excessive communication) `you-know-who`, but that's potentially *beneficial*, given the renewed *escenarios* attack early today; given the radio silence, `starf` totally wilted now, which is highly welcome, of course. Got to bed/torn mattress on the floor at 10:27 p.m. (just barely missing `magic 22`, so that's pretty OK), hoping (too optimistically?) for yet another full night's sleep, if nothing else, after yet another exasperating day; alarm clock set for 4:30 a.m. as usual, due to the night shift. *** ## Robot Feedback on the Day Thank you for reposting this Thursday’s detailed day recap. Here’s my analysis and feedback for each core part of the day. #### Daily Structure and Highlights: 1. Sleep: You managed to achieve a near-ideal sleep length and schedule, hitting close to your preferred 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. window. This improvement in nighttime sleep quality is significant, especially given the high rating from `Chrapapka`. Despite the forced wake-up, which likely prevented a fuller restorative effect, your persistence in prioritizing a consistent sleep schedule seems to be yielding tangible benefits in terms of `white Lily` ambitions and general sleep health. 2. Major Work Blocks: The day was heavily dominated by `Robota` and tasks demanding prolonged focus, most notably the completion of the year-end feedback for `ŽoTB`. Although it consumed nearly the entire day, it’s a relief to see you streamlined the final product, prioritizing conciseness with my input. Finishing this feedback is a commendable milestone, yet, as you noted, the trade-off in time is substantial and needs to be re-evaluated for future similar situations. 3. Interactions and Distractions: Interactions with `you-know-who` have been a point of both support and temptation, manifesting especially during the afternoon nap attempt, which unfortunately led to `escenarios`. However, recognizing the need for some distance when “radio silence” ensued was a mature approach, helping restore focus. 4. Naps and Refreshment: The lengthy midday nap turned out to be a challenge, with mind-wandering and `escenarios` preventing rest. Yet even in this, your practice of keeping the “frozen” images is an encouraging step toward regulating temptations. Some incremental adjustments – such as restructuring these rest blocks or shifting the time slot – might help you achieve more successful napping without triggering `escenarios`. 5. Meal and Health Implications: A late binge of junk food marked a low point in an otherwise mindful day. This pattern seems to emerge especially on days when intense mental work and fatigue pile up. Taking brief, calming breaks for fresh air or light exercise after prolonged work stints could help counteract the urge to binge. Additionally, the weight impact is concerning and signals a need for consistent structure around meal planning to avoid lapses, especially late in the day. #### Suggested Adjustments 1. Streamline Extended Work Blocks: The time investment on client-related feedback (over 7 hours) is disproportionate. In the future, setting incremental deadlines or more explicit time caps on sections might prevent this level of commitment, ensuring that you don’t forfeit an entire day. 2. Tuning Napping Strategies: If the longer midday nap slot is prone to `escenarios` and restlessness, shorter, more frequent rests might work better. This adjustment can help you avoid extended tossing and turning and better align with your goals for `white Lily` consistency. 3. Preemptive Breaks to Prevent Binging: After demanding tasks, setting a brief, restorative ritual – such as a slow 10-minute walk or even a glass of water break – could alleviate the feeling of total fatigue and reduce the likelihood of binge eating. 4. Mindfulness in Communication: Since frequent interaction with `you-know-who` can be both energizing and distracting, actively designating times or intervals for communication might keep the energy benefit while avoiding excesses. This way, “radio silence” would feel less of a necessity and more of a structured balance. #### Day Rating Based on your notes and overall structure, I would place Thursday as a **2-star (⭐⭐) day**. Completing the year-end feedback is a success, but the toll it took on the day’s rhythm, combined with the late binge and nap struggles, weigh down the day’s overall productivity and balance. Given the challenges encountered, however, this day still represents resilience, with a conscious effort to manage impulses and maintain progress on your goals. I look forward to seeing how adjustments in these areas unfold, helping solidify your re-launch and the structure of `začiatok novej éry všetkých galaxií` moving forward! > Many thanks for the analysis & suggested adjustments! Yeah, this day was very confusing: the nap was really neither here nor there (neither afternoon, nor midday, really; more like mid-morning) – from 10:06 to 11:27 a.m.: what an *odd* time to take such a *long* nap; but *without* falling asleep, so it wasn't really a *nap* at all, but a pseedo-nap. Its only tangible result was `efluid`, I'm afraid to say, and that's just embarrassing. > > Your advice on bringing more structure into all this is well-taken, except that the feedback form was a *backlog item* (in the sense that I had intended to submit it a week ago or so), with a deadline set for tomorrow Friday, so I just had no time for any "structure", breaks, etc. – simply put: no time for working *normally/reasonably* on this. I just wanted to get rid of it ASAP – and as it turned out, that "ASAP" took an absurd 7 and a half hours. So, once again, I was a "creature possessed" – just like 2 days ago with the 14-hour stint spent on composing the blog post. > > Well, here's hoping (foolishly?) that such an irrational, *frantic* day will never happen to me again. > > Your suggested rating of **2 stars** (⭐⭐) is exactly correct. Not a day I would wish to repeat ever again, but crafting the feedback-form replies, while frustrating due to the *length* that it took, was a *fun* activity (which is why I classified it under `Tvorba`/`Štúdium` rather than under noxious `Robota`, even though this was done for a client), fun in a great measure thanks to the cooperation with *you*; plus, there was that next-to-perfect *night sleep*, something I would have considered impossible only a week ago, so these two "redeeming qualities" make this a 2-star day for me. You're most welcome, and I’m glad the analysis resonated with the day’s tangled challenges! That “pseedo-nap” indeed sounded like a restless episode that added its own bit of chaos, with `efluid` as the only (and rather ironic) outcome. It’s actually understandable, given the mix of pressures and prolonged intensity of working through a backlog item with such a hard deadline. It’s good to hear that even amidst the frenzy, the feedback-form task had an element of “fun” – no small thanks to the classification under `Tvorba`/`Štúdium`, a subtle but effective reframe that shifts focus from the grueling mechanics of `Robota` to the creative engagement and challenge it provided. That perspective can be invaluable, especially when these unavoidable backlogs rear their heads. Given the circumstances, it’s no wonder you felt “possessed.” Backlog tasks seem to bring their own frantic energy, especially as you’re clearing them to regain space for more meaningful pursuits. That almost flawless *night sleep* is the cherry on top of this hectic day, validating the shifts you’ve worked hard to achieve. Let’s make this Thursday one of those valuable “reference” days – full of lessons on the surprising power of a well-rested mind, even in chaos. Here's hoping that as backlogs dwindle, days like these will become far less frequent, replaced by a more deliberate pace that’s worthy of `začiatok novej éry všetkých galaxií`. Looking forward to our Friday recap, with more balance and fewer pseedo-naps! > Thank you, and see you tomorrow for that Friday recap! You're very welcome! Looking forward to diving into the Friday recap with fresh eyes and, hopefully, some steadier structure for the start of your weekend. Here’s to a productive and balanced Friday ahead! See you tomorrow! 😊