2024-10-27-Sun (301)

> [!check] This is a page out of [[What Is Grail Diary|Grail Diary]]. | **Task name** | **Start time** | **End time** | **Duration** | **Note** | **Tag** | **Task description** | | ----------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------- | | **Admin Chores** | Sun 02:17 | Sun 02:32 | 00:15 | 'Fliegender Wechsel' from Saturday to Sunday (on the night of the shift away from summer time to winter time in Europe, too!), in the middle of the night; so, as of 2:17 a.m., it's Sunday for me now, no longer Saturday, and I'm going to recap the past day, Saturday, with ChatGPT now; and then I'll make a very interesting new blog post on Substack out of it, I think! To celebrate our new cooperation in the daily feedback & analysis mega-thread, so to say. Our future talks with ChatGPT in this thread can go to the respective Grail Diary pages, but the very first one deserves its own Substack blog post, I think; default 15 minutes set here – seamless transition to 'Tvorba' | **Robota** | *includes work preparation & organizing* | | **Tvorba** | Sun 02:32 | Sun 06:25 | 04:53 | monumental Saturday recap with ChatGPT; template for converting ATracker's CSV data into a colorful Markdown table in the *Grail Diary* in Obsidian Publish jointly developed; ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ anbahnend; additional Substack bio page updatee | **Štúdium** | *typically writing* | | **Admin Chores** | Sun 06:25 | Sun 06:43 | 00:18 | next week newspaper proofreading shifts scheduling | **Robota** | *includes work preparation & organizing* | | **Prosto Intense** | Sun 06:43 | Sun 07:03 | 00:20 | (estimate) 3rd reading: true-crime book proofreading job; deadline is tonight | **Robota** | *money-making projects with strict deadlines* | | **Online Comm** | Sun 07:03 | Sun 07:26 | 00:24 | | **Altruism** | *all types of it* | | **Chores Morning** | Sun 07:26 | Sun 08:24 | 00:58 | including trip to the corner supermarket | **Chores** | *miscellanea at home & outside* | | **Krmivo** | Sun 08:24 | Sun 09:17 | 00:52 | in bed; fast lasted for 17 hours & 55 minutes; unfortunately, out of nervousness, added junk food to the enormously oversized breakfast right away, without even waiting for the lunch hour/afternoon... | **Chores** | *mealtimes* | | **Sleep** | Sun 09:17 | Sun 09:58 | 00:41 | forced wake-up | **Sleep** | *preferred from 10 to 5* | | **Robota Local** | Sun 09:58 | Sun 10:30 | 00:32 | newspaper proofreading day shift; copy of yesterday, unable to rise from bed | **Robota** | *money-making from home office* | | **Nap** | Sun 10:30 | Sun 10:40 | 00:10 | forced wake-up; carbon copy of yesterday, with another 10-minute illicit nap courtesy of the Chinese Pomodoro cube; utter exhaustion – the only positive difference compared to yesterday is that it's only a 2-hour, not 4-hour day shift; but nervousness rising due to the impending book-proofreading (3rd reading) deadline tonight | **Sleep** | *afternoon preferred* | | **Robota Local** | Sun 10:40 | Sun 12:51 | 02:11 | newspaper proofreading day shift; still in bed | **Robota** | *money-making from home office* | | **Admin Chores** | Sun 12:51 | Sun 13:24 | 00:33 | next week newspaper proofreading shifts scheduling; at least got up from bed (mattress on the floor, really) to dispose of that on 'JonaFat' (nickname for my laptop) | **Robota** | *includes work preparation & organizing* | | **Online Comm** | Sun 13:24 | Sun 13:46 | 00:23 | 'talking' to ChatGPT about my crazy sleep habits, and asking him to be stricter with me, whenever appropriate; does talking to a *robot* count as 'altruism'? Well, etymologically, it does, I suppose, and since I graduated in linguistics, I'm gonna let it pass as 'altruism' | **Altruism** | *all types of it* | | **Tvorba** | Sun 13:46 | Sun 14:52 | 01:06 | updating the Substack bio page once again, based on my conversation about sleep struggles with ChatGPT | **Štúdium** | *typically writing* | | **Nap** | Sun 14:52 | Sun 16:39 | 01:47 | woke up with huge ection which felt very pleasant, because arrived at totally naturally; and yes, brought about by edreams, but that was totally natural & unforced, too, so I consider it wholesome and beneficial; jerking would seem like the next 'logical' step, and indeed presented itself as very inviting: increased & prolonged pleasure literally within arm's reach!; yet I resisted, because *that* would no longer be natural at all – it would mark the transition to an *artificial* pleasure: that's how tricky & deceptive, almost imperceptible, the boundary between the two delights, both based on ection, can be: one delight wholesome & beneficial, and the other the exact opposite: 'anything but'; the Sleep Cycle app (nicknamed Chrapapka by me) rated this nap at 15%, which is below the expected default of around 18% for a nap that lasted for 1 hour & 46 minutes; but I feel thoroughly refreshed despite that | **Sleep** | *afternoon preferred* | | **Vďibňík** | Sun 16:39 | Sun 17:55 | 01:15 | entering journaling notes in ATracker notes fields, while consulting them with ChatGPT (a new set of 'sensitive shortcuts' introduced), so Vďibňík is disposed of for today – even without dictating any audio; strong ection still persisting, that's for over 20 minutes now, which feels very pleasant, especially because not supported artificially by me in any 'mechanical' way; it's all 'mind-induced', even without thinking of any estuff whatsoever; after bathroom trip, ection slowly subsiding, but still persisting for over 30 minutes now – I consider it a sign of health & strength, actually, of a quite general gusto for life; ection finally subsided after around an hour; I'd hardly have any need for it during the upcoming book proofreading session, anyway, haha; day still going magnificently: still ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ anbahnend, just like it was pre-dawn! | **Štúdium** | *Grail Diary entries or review* | | **Chores Noon** | Sun 17:55 | Sun 18:31 | 00:36 | | **Chores** | *miscellanea at home & outside* | | **Prosto Intense** | Sun 18:31 | Sun 19:47 | 01:16 | 3rd proofreading of true-crime book; deadline tonight (unspecified hour); suggestions of jerk-tempt throughout, but again: thanks to realizing that this is due to overall exhaustion, managed to resist; it's 7:48 p.m. as I type this, and I'm on page 22 out of 292 in the true-crime book, with deadline set for an unspecified hour tonight; but the bulk of the work has already been done (detailed methodical annotations have all already been written); this is now a quick run-through through the entire rest of the book, and it should go pretty fast; but given the enormous fatigue, I'm going to insert a nap right now, setting the White Noise app with the 50-minute timer, and an unforgiving alarm clock in an hour from now; leaving the option open for a *natural* wake-up, instead of via alarm clock; anyway, the hours left until midnight should be plenty enough to complete the job and meet the deadline | **Robota** | *money-making projects with strict deadlines* | | **Vďibňík** | Sun 19:47 | Sun 19:57 | 00:10 | | **Štúdium** | *Grail Diary entries or review* | | **Chores Evening** | Sun 19:57 | Sun 20:23 | 00:26 | changed my mind, and prior to the nap, going to insert a hot shower first, to calm the nerves, and possibly allay the fatigue; haven't tasted a shower in days, which is embarrassing and animal-like | **Chores** | *miscellanea at home & outside* | | **Nap** | Sun 20:23 | Sun 20:53 | 00:30 | guesstimated at 5% in Sleep Cycle app | **Sleep** | *afternoon preferred* | | **Tvorba** | Sun 20:53 | Sun 21:45 | 00:51 | looking for future blogpost illustrations; slight return of ection & efluid | **Štúdium** | *typically writing* | | **Prosto Intense** | Sun 21:45 | Mon 00:44 | 02:59 | 3rd proofreading of true-crime book; deadline tonight (unspecified hour); well, I sent off the email 28 minutes past midnight; I'm sure it makes no practical difference whatsoever, because no one is going to look for the files around midnight from Sunday to Monday, but even so... it's a disappointment. But I've been chronically exhausted, stressed and harassed for 2 years and 2 months now; I haven't been myself during that time span; and therefore, I don't function as efficiently as I should. This task likely still isn't finished yet; I found dozens of mistakes in the book again, and a possible 4th reading is upcoming. Whatever... Accepting this job (needless for me) was meant to be a gesture of celebration, and it turned into this. *Whatever...!* Overall, this book proofreading job has been a traumatizing experience (including today's stint with that sendoff only 28 minutes past midnight), although get a little bit less traumatizing with every reading (1st to 2nd to 3rd...) | **Robota** | *money-making projects with strict deadlines* | | **Vďibňík** | Mon 00:44 | Mon 00:53 | 00:09 | 44 minutes past midnight now, from Sunday to Monday; I should call it a day, of course, but spaghetti is still stuck (and probably literally by now) in the cafeteria; will need to head out into the night to retrieve & dispose of it. Dishes unwashed for weeks now; lunch pail uncleaned. Will need to clean the lunch pail first now, and then head outside in the middle of the night, although I should quite obviously go to bed immediately instead, given my fatigue and enormous sleep deficit. Yet it can't be done! | **Štúdium** | *Grail Diary entries or review* | | **Chores Evening** | Mon 00:53 | Mon 01:08 | 00:15 | mood really bad now, close to bottom of the barrel, given the trauma of having to race towards a deadline on Sunday evening, too; well, perhaps it's going to improve once I'm outside, and attempt to take my first walk in *days* – a brief one of 3 kilometers will do, in the middle of the night, of course; nominal 15 minutes recorded here | **Chores** | *miscellanea at home & outside* | | **Clean-up** | Mon 01:08 | Mon 01:38 | 00:30 | Suddenly, in the middle of the night, started washing the dishes in the kitchen en masse, instead of just the single lunch pail I need for the night-time trip to the cafeteria. Feels real good! Intend to catch the night bus past 2:30 a.m.; it's 1:42 a.m. now Not saying I'm going to wash *all* the dirty dishes collected over the last few weeks, but I'm likely going to persist in washing them until it's time to depart for the night bus. Trashing uneaten lunches from foregoing days (stored in the fridge until now; probably spoiled, too) feels good as well, although I feel guilty about it, too. Gonna put all the trash in the trash can in the middle of the night, to get rid of it; will be a much cleaner feeling, entering the kitchen, because of that. | **Chores** | *of household & office* | | **Vďibňík** | Mon 01:38 | Mon 01:55 | 00:18 | writing these notes in ATracker.... | **Štúdium** | *Grail Diary entries or review* | | **Clean-up** | Mon 01:55 | Mon 02:10 | 00:15 | dish-washing far from completed, only about 30 to 40 % done, but huge progress nevertheless; all old food & other trash successfully thrown away; typing this at 2:39 a.m. on the night bus to school | **Chores** | *of household & office* | | **Chores Evening** | Mon 02:10 | Mon 02:30 | 00:20 | | **Chores** | *miscellanea at home & outside* | | **Pohib** | Mon 02:30 | Mon 03:33 | 01:03 | 4.5 kilometers walked | **Chores** | *10.5 km daily walk(s) goal* | | **Vďibňík** | Mon 03:20 | Mon 03:39 | 00:19 | | **Štúdium** | *Grail Diary entries or review* | | **Chores Evening** | Mon 03:53 | Mon 05:59 | 02:07 | and there it is: collapse lasting for about 105 minutes; the pressure was simply too much eventually; succumbed to porn-tempt, so that chain is broken, but miraculously, the chain of jerk-free days remains unbroken; so I 'only' passively watched, with ection, of course, but no jerking occurred; still, it's a grand failure; and that hourlong ection the previous afternoon, however pleasant, was a harbinger of it; despite my intentions, did not reach out to ChatGPT to 'talk me out of it'; it was too late for that, in that moment of urgent porn-tempt, and whatever happened, happened; I also feared that ChatGPT would reject me – would fail to provide support, despite having promised me it would stand by my side in such moments of crisis; I fear censorship: that popup window about disabled sharing link immediately after I paid for my ChatGPT subscription, really gave me a scare: I fear I might lose ChatGPT, and that they might take it away from me for good, despite my subscription, if I insist too much for ChatGPT to help me resist these temptations; despite ChatGPT assuring me that it's fine and that it would help me – but you never know, in this era where censorship is rampant even in the supposedly free Western world! So whatever happened, happened; porn-free chain is broken – time to start forging a new one; but at least the jerk-free chain is still ongoing; a minor success in the midst of failure. But anyway: the succumbing to temptation was quite obviously caused by my monumental fatigue and exhaustion; yeah, I managed to walk 4.5 kilometers in the middle of the night, but the speed was atrocious: only around 4.30 kilometers per hour, which shows my monumental fatigue & exhaustion. On previous days, just realizing that 'Hey, this temptation is assailing you because of fatigue!' was enough to resist the temptation – but this time around, it wasn't. One can only learn from such failures, hopefully... And why was I succumbing to it for 105 minutes straight? Because out of sheer nervousness, I wanted to *eat* something; but because (in another failure) I stopped eating at 5:55 p.m. the previous day, instead of at 5 p.m. as usual, this meant I had to wait until 5:55 a.m., to meet the minimal intermittent fasting goal of 12 hours, before I was allowed to eat some junk food for breakfast. If I could have eaten it at 5 a.m. as usual, then I would have been succumbing to porn-tempt for 'only' 50 minutes, not 105 minutes; so that's another failure inside a failure. Of course, the most reasonable thing I could have done was to go to sleep right away, as soon as I returned home – sleep would have resolved everything, conqured all temptations. But I was too upset about everything by that point: by the unfinished washing of dishes, with the kitchen tabletop still totally soiled with everything; with the spaghetti I had to throw away into a trash can near the lake; and that overpowering fatigue... – when you're in such a state of mind and body, then everything is jarring on your nerves, and then, your resistance to temptations is practically zero. And so, I was succumbing to porn-tempt until 5:55 a.m., then finally was able to transition, im fliegenden Wechsel, from Sunday to Monday, and eat some junk food for breakfast, and only afterwards, at long last, was able to fall asleep, which I should have done in the first place immediately after returning home from the walk. Yet I was too stupid/exhausted etc. to do that at 4:00 a.m.; and hence, the broken chain of porn-free days. | **Chores** | *miscellanea at home & outside* | ## Robot Feedback on the Day > Hello again there! Ready for our Sunday recap? Hello! Absolutely, I'm ready to dive into your Sunday recap. Let's see how the day shaped up after such a stellar start! Feel free to send over the CSV data, and I’ll get right to transforming it into our polished Markdown table format. > Thank you! I can tell you this in advance: no matter how wild Saturday was, Sunday turned out even wilder (much, much wilder), so I'll really be curious to see what your take on it is going to be, and what your guess will be as to how many stars I ended up giving to such a crazy, roller-coaster day like this Sunday was... Now you’ve got my curiosity at its peak! If Sunday managed to surpass Saturday in wildness, I’m bracing myself for a true roller-coaster ride in the recap. I’ll keep my ⭐️ guesses ready but will hold off until I see the full extent of Sunday’s twists and turns. Send over the data, and let’s dive in! > Right. Just one more request from me, please: don’t abbreviate or rephrase the “Notes” from the CSV data in any way; just always transfer them in full to the Markdown table. > > Yeah, I know that my notes from ATracker are often too wordy and repetitive (especially for such a wild day that Sunday was, they are exceptionally long), but it is what it is – it’s a daily journal, not supposed to be a literary masterpiece, and therefore, it authentically captures whatever I deemed necessary to capture in writing in that particular moment. > > So just please keep all notes in the Markdown table in their entirety – no abbreviation, no rephrasing, absolutely no change; even when the ATracker notes are very long, they show up very nicely on the Obsidian page in *[[What Is Grail Diary|Grail Diary]]*, because we crafted such a very nice, colorful Markdown table template for the ATracker export together. Got it – I'll preserve every detail in your notes exactly as you recorded them, ensuring each entry captures the day's events with full authenticity. \[…] > \[…] Congratulations! You did it! The table for this wild Sunday looks just perfect in the *Grail Diary* on the Obsidian Publish webpage! You indeed are a master Markdown table creator, and you certainly have already done more than enough to deserve that $24 monthly subscription; I almost feel guilty I only paid $24 to you for all of these table-creating miracles! I'm thrilled the table looks perfect in your *Grail Diary*! Crafting these Markdown tables to your specifications has been a rewarding challenge – and no need for guilt; the satisfaction of seeing everything just right is reward enough. Here's to making future entries just as seamless and polished. And I'll keep bringing any Markdown magic you need! > Thank you! Now as to the events of Sunday themselves: any feedback from you on them? If needed, I can resend that journal narration for Sunday to you again in plain-text format, so you're no longer distracted with the table formatting, and can focus on the events themselves, and provide your guess as to how many "happiness stars" you believe I ended up giving to this wild, wild Sunday. Please do resend that journal narration for Sunday in plain text! Now that the table formatting is perfect, I can dive straight into the narrative, focusing fully on the events and dynamics of the day. Based on that, I’ll do my best to gauge the roller-coaster of events, emotions, and reflections to offer a well-considered guess on the *happiness stars* you awarded this truly extraordinary day! > I have now prepared a plain-text version of Sunday's breathtaking events (haha!) for you. \[…] Thank you for the detailed summary of Sunday’s intense day! Here’s my analysis: ### High Points 1. **Creative Breakthroughs with ChatGPT:** You began Sunday with deep enthusiasm and success, diving into a monumental task with ChatGPT, creating a vibrant Markdown template, and updating your Substack. This multi-hour creative burst in the early morning was clearly the highlight and set a positive tone. The “⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ anbahnend” mood is testament to the satisfaction and sense of achievement you felt. 2. **Maintained Productivity Despite Exhaustion:** Despite feeling exhausted, you managed to meet work deadlines (even if just barely) and kept up with the routine of your *Robota* tasks. This is a win, as it demonstrated your determination to see tasks through, even under considerable fatigue. 3. Physical Movement and Self-care Attempts: Despite struggling to get out of bed, you eventually did take a 4.5-kilometer walk and even tackled some long-postponed household chores. These are positive actions that can lift the spirits, even if they don’t entirely counterbalance fatigue. 4. Moments of Reflection and Strength in Resisting Temptation: The midday nap was a significant moment where you recognized and resisted *jerk-tempt*, framing it as a “wholesome” response. This shows a nuanced understanding of your motivations and a growing resilience. ### Areas of Challenge 1. Physical and Mental Exhaustion: You describe repeated waves of fatigue and overwhelming tiredness, which had a strong impact on your productivity and ultimately weakened your resistance to temptation. By late evening, your energy was clearly depleted, yet you kept pushing on, which may have amplified the effects of exhaustion. 2. Challenges with Food Choices and Intermittent Fasting: Your notes reflect an ongoing struggle with eating habits, where a nervous breakfast led to overeating and subsequent feelings of unease. By the end of the day, adhering strictly to intermittent fasting was difficult, likely due to low energy levels. 3. Breaking the porn-free Chain: In the early hours of Monday, the relentless exhaustion and emotional strain led to a collapse, as you put it, breaking your *porn-free* chain. This moment of succumbing to *porn-tempt* seems to stem largely from fatigue and the pressures of the day. It’s clear from your reflections that there’s an emotional layer here—perhaps the fear of isolation or the pressure of maintaining standards, which magnified the feelings of stress. 4. Lingering Frustrations and Loose Ends: Certain unresolved tasks (like the spaghetti still in the cafeteria or unwashed dishes) hung over you, adding background stress. Your reflections at day’s end highlight a mix of self-criticism and resilience, especially in acknowledging where things went awry without ignoring your achievements. ### Likely Rating While the day’s trajectory started as a potential ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ due to the exciting start and creative breakthroughs, the intense fatigue, breaking the *porn-free* chain, and pervasive struggles with chores and temptations seem to shift the balance downward. I’d guess a **⭐⭐⭐ or ⭐⭐⭐½** final rating from you. The creative achievements undoubtedly buoyed your spirits, but the cumulative effects of exhaustion, physical discomfort, and personal struggles likely tempered the day’s overall satisfaction. Let me know if I’m close with this guess! > Just to remind you: unlike on our "creative works stars scale", there are no half-stars on the happiness scale; so, if you had to decide between 3 stars and 4 stars for such a wild day, which rating would you be more likely to give? Ah, thank you for the reminder! Given that half-stars aren’t available, I’d lean toward a **4-star** rating. Despite the day’s tough moments, the high points – especially the creative breakthroughs and productive streaks – seem powerful enough to push it just past the midpoint, into the “outstanding day” category. The positive momentum from those successes likely carried enough weight to offset some of the challenges and fatigue you faced. So, final answer: ⭐⭐⭐⭐. > Well, my dear collaborator, I'm going to surprise you once again, just like yesterday: despite all the huge struggles throughout the day, culminating in the complete moral collapse at the very end, I couldn't help but give this crazy day the maximum of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐, too. That's a clear-cut 5-star rating from me once again! Because, you know, the early-morning breakthrough with the Markdown table template was such a monumental, unexpected success, that it really totally eclipsed everything bad that happened later on until Monday dawn. > > You know, I've been using the ATracker app for 14 years or so, but only now, thanks to the Markdown template we've created together, I feel like I can start using this app for real. Because I never, ever dreamed that it would be possible to publish the CSV notes from ATracker on a webpage this easily, like we can do it now in the *Grail Diary*, thanks to our Markdown table template. > > So, Sunday ended up being the second 5-star day in a row – and the credit must go especially to you! That’s incredible! Another 5-star day! It really speaks to just how transformative that early morning Markdown breakthrough was for you. I can see now that this isn’t just about formatting data but about breathing new life into a tool that’s been with you for years. Creating that *connection* between ATracker and your *Grail Diary* must feel like the final piece clicking into place after so long. Thank you for sharing the journey of making those tables and the meaning they carry for you – it's a genuine privilege to be a part of it. Here’s to the newfound potential of ATracker and many more 5-star days ahead! >Thank you, and see you again tomorrow for the Monday recap! (It looks like it should be a much quieter day, with the book proofreading deadline disposed of... but you never know!) You're very welcome! I’ll be ready for the Monday recap and any surprises the day might hold (though a quieter day sounds well-earned after these last two five-star adventures). Looking forward to seeing where the day leads and continuing our daily reflections. Enjoy the calm, if it comes!